Why Are You So Bias?

I yelled at my Mum yesterday. I know as a daughter, I'm not supposed to do that, but I just couldn't control my feelings. We had arranged to have dinner at Woodlands a few days before, which I would be treating. But yesterday afternoon, That-Big-One called to say he couldn't make it for the dinner, as he would be having dinner with his GF's family. I don't know if there was no communication done earlier or there was a mis-communication between That-Big-One and Mum. Later Grandma also called to inform us to take the rice dumplings from her.

I just don't know what Mum was thinking? She started to get so troubled by those 2 calls. Well we could either take the rice dumplings from Grandma's house (at AMK) first then proceed to Woodlands for dinner or vice versa. But she was not happy. She said it was out of the way if we proceed to AMK then to Woodlands, which later we still have to drive That-Small-One to his camp near Choa Chu Kang. If we proceed to have dinner first then to Grandma's house, she won't have the time to shop around.

WTF. I just felt that she was unhappy her favourite That-Big-One couldn't make it for the dinner, especially since I was the one treating. (with lesser people means I need to pay less) When her favourite That-Big-One treated us a few weeks ago, everyone of us turned up. Mum must be feeling unbalanced. Eventually, I shouted back at her after all my suggestions were overthrown. "I don't know what you are thinking! You are so unhappy because your favourite That-Big-One is not joining us!"

I guess that hit right on the nail. We didn't talk till we reached the place for dinner, which thankfully, everything went on well. Yes, and I found out that she cooked her favourite (which is also my favourite) soft shell crab when I wasn't home for dinner. Fine. It's not the first time anyway.

But I just hate it, when she shows favourism on That-Big-One and That-Small-One just because they are guys. Come on, girls are human too. What she went through during her time shouldn't be brought upon me. It's so not fair to me. I have my feelings too. She shows more concern for me only when the guys are not around. Am I only fit to be a substitute?

I don't want to yell at her, but sometimes she is just so unreasonable. Every time after I shouted at her, I simply feel so guilty. Yes I do! I feel so bad for making her angry again. I just don't know what to do...

Tempura Ice-cream

Went to a certain 'green logo' Japanese food chain for lunch the other day. To my horror, they stopped selling my favourite Tempura Ice-cream!!!

Why do they deprive me of my favourite dessert? Why do they deprive me of my pleasure of eating there?

This is one of the dish that makes me patronise the restaurant frequently, even though the food there are not as fresh and delicious as it should be. Now, I'm going to stop going there for my meal. I'm not going to visit there as often as I used to do. (I'm such a sucker for Japanese food)

I need to find new places new cheap Japanese restaurant to satisfy my Japanese food addiction. I need to find somewhere that sells Tempura Ice-cream. I'm missing it...

Maybe, I should start a petition, to let the restaurant know of the strong demand, so that it will continue to sell the Tempura Ice-cream. (anyway, that's what people like to do nowadays, starting a petition on something that they disagree)

Before I can start, I will need some supporter. Yah, anyone???

p/s: Kindly inform me if you know of anywhere that sells tempura ice-cream at a resonable price (I'm not rich lah), or any place that sells fried ice-cream. Please don't tell me the one at Tiong Bahru market as I have never, I repeat, NEVER, seen it open before.

Tomorrow.sg

I am surprised by the sudden surge in my hit counter. I thought some alien had invaded my blog site and messed up my site counter or that my astigmatism has gotten worst.

But no. Someone, by the name of wandie had actually mentioned my earlier post on Tomorrow, the 'Bulletin of Singapore Bloggers'.

I feel so flattered. I'm ecstatic!

I don't know if any of you will continue to visit this unexciting blog, but I still wish to say "Thanks for being here at all, for leaving a small mark in my blog".

p/s: feel free to leave some comment(s). I love comments.

A Letter To My Mum

Dear Mum,

I don’t know what went wrong. Sometimes I just feel that I don’t belong to this house. I don’t belong to you. As though I’m born by someone else, not by you.

I have very few memory of my life before the age of 5. In fact, I don’t think I remember anything before that.

But from the day that I have memory, I just don’t feel the warmth that I thought I should have. You are always showing your concern to them, paying no attention to me. Whatever they request for, they will get it. Whereas for me, I can only hope and dream, or wait till the day I save enough money for it.

You are always sharing the good stuff with them, telling them everything. When they come home for dinner, you will cook a scrumptious meal. But when they don’t come back for dinner, I get to the previous meal leftover. You always make sure they will be here for the good food. You always make sure they get to eat it, but not me.

You help them to clean the room, change the bed sheets, iron the clothes etc. Yet you expect me to do it all by myself. I paint my own room, buy my own furniture, PC, clothes etc. I got to pay by myself, using my savings. They got free tables, free PCs, free bed sheets, everything.

I merely delay giving you the monthly allowance by a few days and you started to nag non-stop. I just want to borrow some money and you nagged non-stop as well. It’s not as if I’m not going to pay. But then they can borrow money from you, and not pay back.

Despite the unfair treatment, I still treat you as my mum. I try to be nice to you, make you happy. But sometimes, when you ignore me totally, concentrating your talk with them, I just felt like walking off. I just felt that whatever I’ve done are wasted, not acknowledged.

Maybe, I should really get marry soon and move as far away from you as possible. Maybe you will be happier not seeing me everyday.

From a deeply hurt Daughter

...

Why am I being so emotional today?

Why the hell do I keep tearing?

My eyes are not itchy. My eyes are not tired. Why the tears?

Why can't I learn to control my tears?

Why do I keep crying for no reason at all?

I hate this feeling.

May

Of all the twelve months in a year, I love May most.

There are Public Holidays (Labour Day & Vesak Day), Mothers' Day and most important of all, Birthdays. My elder brother's birthday. That special someone's birthday. My birthday.

Yeah Yeah!!! I'm in a good mood this month.

Why do we feel especially good when our birthday is around the corner? Or is it just me only? And how did it become a custom to give present when it's someone's birthday?

Anyway I love presents. Haha... I don't mind lots of present. Useless presents, ugly presents. But I do hate receiving recycled presents on those special day, like birthday and anniversary. If you receive a present that you don't like or find that it doesn't suit you, yes you can pass it to others, but not as a special day present. It's just so rude and thoughtless. It should be given on any other day as a normal gift.

Don't ever let me receive a recycled present. Don't let me know. I am evil.

Blogs

I have 4 blogs. This is the 3rd one. Each blog has a different theme.

My first blog 'talks' about my everyday life.

My second blog 'talks' about me & him.

My third blog is this.

My fourth blog 'talks' about love.

So far, I have only told people my first blog address. Why do I keep so many blogs? I don't really know. Might be due to the daily routine of boring life. Or maybe there are some things that I still wish to keep as secret. Some things that I do not want to talk about with them. Some thing are better left unknown.

If you are rather free and have no idea what to do, well try to the other 3 blogs and let me know. I will tell you if you are right or wrong.

p/s: No prize for guessing it right though.

Insomnia

insomnia - habitual inability to sleep

insomniac - (of or being) a person who habitually cannot sleep, or can sleep only for a short period of night

Many people suffered from different types of insomnia.

I don't think I am an insomniac.

Rather, I call this the RSS : Refusal-Sleep-Syndrome.

This happens frequently, especially on Sundays, because the next morning will be Monday, a working day. My mind refuse to sleep so that I don't have to wake up facing Monday. So that Monday don't come by so fast. I can't sleep because I don't want to wake up to face a dreadful day.

In fact I love sleeping. I love to be able to wake up 'naturally'.

But I just can't sleep at night...

A Day To Remember - 2nd May 2005

A new Blog is born today.

A new Person.

A new Identity.

A new Mind.

A new Me.