Decision

Life is so fucked up.

Last Oct, I tendered my resignation. I was so tired with so many things. I was so stressed up with my work and study. I simply need a break. I didn't look for another job. I just wanted to rest at home, spend my time doing nothing. I made this decision after some long consideration. I even informed my mum of the plan, so that she wouldn't nag at me too much, and also to prepare her for the lost of income.

I informed HR, whom informed my Boss. They tried to persuade me day after day, but I was firm. After some talk here and there, I was given one choice, that is to continue working. They gave some fucking reasons, and me, being the soft hearted idiot actually gave in and stayed. They also promised me something, which I had been waiting for since I worked there, till now.

More than half a year has passed. The 'Promise' wasn't fulfilled. I'm sick and tired. Thoughts of leaving flashed in my head again. My friend's company has an opening for Technical Specialist doing testing. Something different from what I'm doing now. The job and company sounds good. But the bad point was the distant and salary. I thought once. I thought twice. Again and again. Yes, I'm determined to leave this place, or so I thought.

Today, HR informed me that the 'Promise' is coming, in fact it is being worked on now. The 'Promise', something I had been waiting for a long time. Being the true Gemini, I'm facing 'internal conflict'. Should I take up the challenge and leave for uncertain future? Or should I stay at this sucking environment and spend my life there safely?

I'm fucking indecisive. I'm fucking coward. Someone please give me a tight slap and send me to coma, so that I can officially sleep and sleep...